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Last week I went shopping for some new clothes, but I didn't buy any
because my closet is full, yet I have nothing to wear. Sound familiar?
It is just a bad habit of holding on.
If I were to ask an ailing patient, "Are you holding on to your dis-ease?", they would throw me out on my face. The thought of holding on to your dis-ease sounds unreal and grotesque. Actually, we hold on to many things in our lives without even realizing we are doing so. We hold on to old clothes that are too small, in hope we will lose weight. We hold on to old newspapers and magazines in hope that we will get to read them. Just look around and see how many old papers are on you desk right now. We accumulate books we bought, in a moment of excitement. We hold on to bad relationships because of fear of aloneness, or because we feel we have to. And the best part is that we make such plausible rationalizations why we should. We hold on to flower pots in our yards thinking we will replant them one day. And we do hold on to our disease because there is usually a reward that comes with it, without realizing the long term consequences.
Children fall down and hurt themselves, get sick, cut their fingers, or act out just to get attention. Teenagers have been known to cut their wrists, or overdose by "mistake," because subconsciously they are asking for help and attention from their parents. They have not yet learned how to give voice to their feelings. All this because they feel lost, neglected and abandoned.
It happens in many adults, after the children have grown up and left the nest, especially if there is only one parent left. The parents would be embarrassed to ask for attention and love, so they get sick. And of course, the kids run home to see the ailing parent. Jewish and Catholic guilt have been used many times as humor, but when you look closely behind it, there is a marvelous, manipulative tool. We have learned how to use this tool to get someone to do something for us.
Another reason for getting sick is revenge. "I'll show you for leaving me, or not loving me enough, or not making me the object of your life. I'll show you, I will die and then what will you do?" That same painful word, "guilt" comes into play again. But unfortunately, the person who is doing the guilting, is not aware that he is only hurting himself. The one he is trying to guilt may be out dancing and having a great time.
So we get sick, often not always, of course, to get attention through manipulation.
The problem is that once we get the attention we want so desperately, we don't know how to release the dis-ease we have brought onto ourselves. This disease is what we have used as a manipulative tool. So the dis-ease progresses until it totally entraps us in a web of our own making.
RELEASE is the answer. RELEASE, RELEASE, RELEASE. Release everything. It is hard to let go of things you have been accumulating all your life. Letting go may feel like letting go of some parts of your life. The wedding gown you wore, the ice-skating boots you enjoyed, etc. Start with little things. Clean off your desk by throwing out everything that is older than one week. Even if you get to it, it will be old now. I promise you, it gets easier after the first step. Then go to your closet. Examine each item. And if you have not worn it in the last year, it means you don't like it. If you don't like it, why keep it?! Get a box and fill it with clothes. There are organizations that will give you a tax deduction. Everyone wins. Besides, just think, if you don't do it, after you die, your kids will have to get rid of a ton of things. Why not get rid of them now and make their lives easier. Also, you may want to give that gold bracelet to your favorite niece. Let them enjoy the material things while you are still alive and can share in their joy.
If you want to see your kids, don't whine, don't make them feel guilty, be honest. Get on the phone and just tell them you love them and miss them. Or just write them a beautiful note telling them that you are lucky to have them as your children. Can you love them unconditionally? That usually brings better results than guilt. I know it's hard, I had to learn all over again.
And now for the most important holdings of your life, your health:
Let's start with forgiveness. When we forgive those who we feel have hurt us, we release them from our presence. That means, really forgive, not just verbal lip service. When we forgive and release them, we also release hurt, anger, revenge and all other negative feelings that we have been harboring inside our soul. It is those negative, destructive feelings turned inward, that disturb the molecules in our physical bodies and make us sick. We cannot heal until we release the negativity from our consciousness.
The second thing we have to watch for is; Revenge. If someone cheated, stole or hurt us in business, naturally we humans want revenge. But as long as we are seeking revenge, we are eroding our own health. Let Hashem deal with their evil nature. It is not up to us to judge or punish them. They will get theirs in the end. It is the Law of the Universe. Whatever you put forth will return to you. You must forgive and release, and only concentrate on healing yourself. Fill your life with love, gratitude and random acts of kindness. Know you are a good person and learn to love and heal yourself.
For physical healing, try relaxation and meditation. Relax all your muscles and release all the toxins from within your own body. For physical body toxins, watch what you put in your mouth. Remove yourself from smoke and alcohol. Instead of sodas, drink lots of water with a little bit apple cider or lemon juice in it. Cut out fatty meats. Eliminate those burekas and concentrate on vegetables, fruits and small portions of protein. If you are constipated, take in roughage. It cleanses your system and gets rid of toxins.
And now for the most important part of healing and releasing: Meditation. Sit comfortably in your chair. Some people say, place your feet flat on the ground. I like putting my feet up. Start by taking a few deep breaths. Slowly. Very slowly. As deep as you can. Fill your lungs with life giving oxygen. When you release your breath, do it in a slow rhythmic pattern. Each time you release, feel your shoulders relax and come down. (We have a tendency to hold all our problems in our shoulders) Let go. Inhale again through your nose and release through the mouth. This time, see the person who hurt you, and in your mind's eye, see them getting smaller, and smaller, and smaller until they disappear from your mental screen completely. If you have high blood pressure, close your eyes during your meditation and see a mental picture of a huge thermostat on the wall. See the mercury on the number of your present blood pressure. Take a few more deep breaths. As you release the breath, simultaneously see the mercury come down to the blood pressure number you want to be. Now watch your miracle occur. Repeat the process as many times as it takes you to succeed.
There is no rule or law that says you HAVE to have any dis-ease. You don't! Just be conscious of your words, your actions, and be honest with yourself. YOU CAN DO IT. YOU CAN BE A WINNER. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU WANT TO.
Addendum: I watched my father get diabetes because of a bad business deal. I watched my mother endure a cerebral hemorrhage because she did not want my brother to get married. I realize that I have developed food allergies because a hypnotist once told me that I should eat less, because food is poison.
Whatever you do, do not minimize the power of the subconscious mind. It is all powerful and all knowing because it is an expression of God.
If you have an opinion on the subject, please E mail me and let me know what you think. THE CHOICE IS YOURS! Rev. Irene Danon Bukica@aol.com
DO I HAVE A CHOICE? click here to read